Behavioral disorders arise as a result of the child’s internal conflicts due to various psychological and physical causes. Violence, irritability, aggression, stubbornness, lies, stealing, blasphemy, such as behavior enters into behavioral disorders. Behavioral Disorders in Children can sometimes be annoying.
Some criteria are necessary for a child’s behavior to be considered disorder. These criteria are:
1-Age fitness: Each developmental period has its own unique behavior. Therefore, it is necessary to know the characteristics of the child’s developmental period. Ex; The 2-year-old is negativist, mobile and does not do the desired thing. Freud’s anal learns that Erikson is an autonomous individual.
The 3-5 year old child wants to draw attention. Because his imagination is so wide, he can tell amazing stories. Therefore, while the stories of children at this age are not accepted as lies, the lies seen in children aged 11-14 are considered as deviant behavior.
2-Density: The second criterion in accepting a behavior as disorder is density. When anger and moodiness occur in a 5-year-old child, if this behavior becomes a form of physical harm to someone else, it falls into the category of behavior disorder.
3-Continuity: The persistent and long-term continuation of a particular type of behavior.
4-Expectations of sexual role: While boys are expected to be more aggressive than girls, the behaviors of girls behaving similar to boys with aggressive behavior fall into the category of deviating behavior from normal.
Causes of behavior disorders in general
– Attention: When the child is not shown the necessary love and care or when there is not enough time, he / she turns to behavioral disorders to attract attention.
– A desire to gain strength against parents:
The desire to take revenge: Especially the beaten-in, unloved child wants to take revenge on his parents.
-Incompetence: The child’s self-insecurity causes behavioral disorders. Parental over-protective, tolerant attitude, over-care means more control. As a result, the child becomes over-dependent, insecure, and emotionally broken. The situation does not allow the child to become self-sufficient and causes behavioral disorders.
How should positive relationships be established with children with behavioral disorders?
1-Mutual respect: Scolding, shouting, hitting, silencing, acting inconsistently is an indication of disrespect to the child. Every parent should learn to respect their children. Each child should be treated as a separate individual, asked for his / her opinion and respected.
2-Taking time for the child: It is necessary to take care of the child and to take the time. The time to spend together is important in terms of quality, not quantity. Together, the child can enjoy activities.
3-Encouragement: If the child wants to trust himself, the parents should trust the child first. It should praise and encourage the child’s effort. Encouragement is very important for the child to perceive himself / herself as valuable.
4-To express love: To feel safe, the child must at least know that he / she is loved and love.
Aggression is a normal form of response in young children. The child’s safety, happiness, or other need arises when he changes his shape in a different way. verbal attacks in the form of threats aimed at spitting and harm.
The child, who is constantly and extremely aggressive, is angry, incomprehensible, ready to act, and overcompatible. Their relationship must be tense and friction. It immediately shines and is ready for a fight. He breaks the rules and gets punished. These children are not affected by punishment or appear to have been affected for a short time. They try to solve even ordinary disputes with the power of the wrist. Their response is disproportionate and disproportionate to the situation. He can’t beat his anger and always tries to justify himself. These children create constant problems at home and school and are in constant conflict with adults. Usually boys are more aggressive.
Causes of Aggression in Children
1-Rewarding of aggressive behavior by parents. Traditional culture confirms the aggression of the boy (eg two children beat each other in the park.
2-Strict punishment, lack of understanding and insufficient love from adults
3-The long-term absence of the father, the mother is constantly around the child’s feministic environment
4-TV. And the negative impact of the mass media (the example of the Valley of the Wolves).
5-Negative attitudes of parents, poor communication between children
6-Beating from the parents of the child
7-Physiological problems such as cerebral inflammation and brain injury
How can we prevent aggressive behavior in children?
1-First of all, the parent should not be a model of aggression against the child.
2-Too much aggressive behavior should not be tolerated. Aggressive behavior should not be rewarded and it should be shown immediately that this behavior is undesirable.
3-Aggressive behaviors should not be punished with beatings. When aggressive behavior emerges, adults should behave calmly and use I’s language instead of abnormal emotional reactions.
4-When the child is nervous and angry, he should not argue with him, wait for him to calm down and then talk about his behavior.
5-The child should be given various responsibilities in accordance with social maturity, and start and end many things as far as he can achieve. The child should experience a sense of accomplishment.
6-The disadvantages of this behavior should be shown to the child.
7-Reinforcing positive behavior: Parents and other adults should see the child’s positive behavior and ignore the negative behavior. Ex: 10min. This verbal reward when you play without fighting and shouting.
8-Letting the child play outside, it reduces the tension of the child and provides the opportunity to release energy.
9- Unless aggressive behavior seriously threatens the safety of other children, it should not be overlooked.
10-Speaking to himself: If the child is behaving impulsively and has difficulty in controlling this aspect, the child can be taught to say self-blocking sentences when he will hit others.
11-The child should not be confronted with aggressive models.
12-There are alternatives to get rid of anger. Punchable clay, nail nails, drawing, painting can control the child’s feelings of anger. In addition, sports such as football, basketball are accepted ways of exit.
13-The basic needs of the child should be fulfilled in time at all ages and periods.
14-It should be ensured that these children are especially with the father.
15-Parents should use the language when communicating with these children.
Playing Behavior in Children
The stealing is the fact that he takes an unauthorized object unauthorized and possesses it. We need to know the characteristics of the child well.
Sample; Since the concept of ownership does not develop in a 2-year-old child, he thinks that everything is himself. You, I, can not distinguish between his concepts.Children begin to distinguish what is not with him over time, but his selfish attitude continues for a long time. In the classrooms, the children had to learn each other’s colored pencils, erasers and so on. We don’t accept the behavior of others in this age to steal their belongings.
It is important to emphasize the frequent repetitive plays during school ages. If the child persists after 10 years of age, this is an indication of a serious emotional disorder and requires professional help.
Reasons for Playing in Children
1-Inadequate allowance for the child: Failure to meet the basic needs of the child
2-An important deprivation in the child’s life: Thus the play symbolically replaces the lack of love and attention of parents. A child who thinks he is unpopular can play to attract attention. Sometimes it may occur after the loss of parents. It was found that children who usually steal behavior were raised and neglected by alcoholic or guilty parents.
3-The idea of ownership in children is not developed:
4-Taking revenge: Eg; A child who is compared to a successful child can take his things to get revenge on him. The child can also steal revenge from the authoritarian parent or teacher.
5-Parents’ subconscious pleasure of the child’s behavior: The child feels it and continues to play.
6-The child may have chosen a bad example to identify himself: the child can do it to get the approval of a group. The aim is not to steal, but to exploit others.
7-To increase self-confidence: Some children do their own strength, to prove their masculinity.
8-There may be a way for the child to settle with the parents:
9-Depression, jealousy or anger to the newborn sibling may be an indicator of the stress caused by the child. a mother yelling at her husband yelling at the child
How to Prevent Playback Behavior in Children?
1-Learning Values: Children should be taught to give honesty and importance to the property of others. Parents should be an example.
2-Sample creation: Parents should be the example of the child first. Other belongings should not be taken, found goods should be taken back, other people should not be fooled. Give me a sample of Daddy who bought a towel.
3-Strengthening communication: If the child lacks close relationships at home, if sufficient time is not allocated, the relationship between family members should be strengthened.
4-The child should be given a certain amount of pocket money. A certain pocket money must be given to meet the needs of the child.
5-Property rights: The child should be taught how to borrow and return an item that does not belong to him when he needs it.
6-Attractive items such as coins should not be left around.
7-The child must have his / her own belongings. The child must have at least a few belongings.
Among the behavioral disorders seen in children, it is the steal that concerns the parents the most. Because they see this behavior as typical criminal behavior and they feel fear. Parents usually show these reactions.
– Punishing the child, beating
-Don’t do anything about a solution.
So how do we treat the kid who plays?
How to behave?
1-It should not be overreacted. The parents must show that they did not approve of the incident without shouting and calling,
2-Children should not be stigmatized as bad. Only the behavior of the child at that time should be criticized.
3-The child should be given back to the goods received. If the item is broken or broken, a new one should be taken and the child’s allowance paid.
4-By talking to the child, the problem-solving method can be tried. The child is asked to define this situation clearly. N What was on your mind when you took the item? Siniz you might ask.
5-Make your child pay the wrong behavior by doing business. ”I am very sorry that you took the pen of your friend Ali. You know the rule. You can only have your things. Now you give your friend your pen back. You want to do some work for breaking the rule. You’ll wash the balcony.
6-In case of suspicion, it is necessary to talk to the child. It’s more important that I’m proud of you than you’re proud of yourself. Bir A conversation in the form can get him to return the item.
Lie in Children
In our daily lives, almost all of us resort to lies. Ex; instead of arkadaş I don’t want to be with you today ”, we say var I have a job”. Because we’re afraid we’il hurt her if we tell the truth. Lying is a behavior condemned by everyone. We often see our own lies as necessary, the lie that other people say is a big lie.
The lies that are deliberately deceived to deceive others are true lies. In fact, the lies of children remain innocent of the lies of adults. Because; their lies are not intended to deceive. Since the child cannot evaluate the truth well, he distorts what he sees and makes up. Some parents lie to the child as telling the things that have not happened. He blames the child instead of listening and accepting it as it is. Because the imagination of a 3-5 year old child is very wide, they tell incredible stories and cannot distinguish between lying and non-lying.
1- Imaginary Lies: Young children make up the truth because they do not evaluate well. Adults see them as lies.
2-False Lies: Children take the example of parents. The child who witnesses the lie of the parents learns to lie. Ex; he goes to the doctor to go to visit the parents to prepare the ground for the child to lie.
3-Social Lies: These are the most common lies. When we go somewhere, if we don’t want to go, we say ım I’m sick..
4-Defense Lies: The child lies to protect himself.
5-exalted Lies: lies to win admiration of others.
Sometimes children lie to express a longing. Ex; like a fatherless child saying var I have a father.. A child who says em My mother is dead tedir says this because she is indifferent with the birth of a brother.
How to Prevent Lies in Children?
1-adults should be an example.If the parents lie to others, it will be very difficult for the child to understand the importance of honesty.
2-should not overreact. Should be soft and tolerant, and avoid punishment. Overreacting causes the child to continue to lie to avoid your anger.
3-Things that children can not achieve should not expect.
4-We should avoid excessive pressure and should not limit the child’s life with the rules we have established.
5- Adults should not use the child as a vehicle. parental Your mother says, “Don’t let your father hear what we’re doing.”
6-Secret police should not question the child as: Eg; Ik I will not punish you if you tell the truth, sonra he said, when the child told the truth “I knew” to react by saying or beating, the child reinforces the lie.
7- The child should not be compared with other children.
8-Parent-child communication should be positive. The child should be able to talk to us about their wishes, distress, concerns and concerns. It is necessary to listen to the child and help him / her to find solutions.
9. A child who has a ”liar” label affixed to the child will fulfill the requirements of this label because he believes his work reflects himself. Even if we do not approve of this behavior, it is necessary to keep our child’s personality separate from this behavior. Help your child understand that you love him because he is the child himself.
10-Check directly to make sure. Instead of asking the child imi I am done, “say“ I want to see your homework .B.
Swearing in Children
Blasphemy is divided into three basic groups.
– A way of speaking that reflects the wish to curse or harm someone.
– Sexual content curses, obscene speeches
– curses for personality. Maniac, idiot…
Causes of profanity in children
1-Attention: If some children do not get enough attention from their parents, they curs for attention.
2-Shaking: For some children, shocking and disturbing adults can be fun.
3-Mouth avoidance: When people feel frustration or anger, or when there is a physical tension is very natural to swear out of the mouth. Very blocked, living space is very narrowed children, anger can curses.
4-Defense: For some, bad words are a defensive behavior.
5-maturation: Sometimes children also say bad words, as a symbol of being adults.
6. Approval by peers:
7-Childish pleasure: Bathing and talking about young children reveals a kind of childish sexual pleasure in children.
What should be done against swearing children?
1-Sample creation: If you can prevent yourself from being rude and abusive, you will learn this control by mimicking you.
2-Expression of impulses: If the child can express his anger at you easily, if he has this freedom, he will use less blasphemous words to express his negative emotions.
3-Discussion: These words are defined by writing on a piece of paper and then discussed.
4-Ignoring: When children use bad words, children may not have a reason to say these words unless parents are very upset or surprised.
5- “Mute Game”: Parents can direct the child by playing silence rather than being shocked. Çocuk What is the meaning of the word you use? ”, Orum I do not understand”, the child is asked to answer.
6-Encourage to be creative: creative activities, literary activities, sports and so on. Increases creativity and prevents abuse of words.
7-Wearing bad words: When the child uses this word, ask him to say it for 5 minutes. He probably won’t use it again. When he doesn’t want to say it, but only after he’s punished for using the bad word, tell him he can do what he wants.
8-Serious non-punishment: If you punish your child by beating, shouting, threatening; your child learns to use these words secretly to avoid being caught and punished.
It is necessary to inform the child to use appropriate acceptable words instead of these inappropriate words.